when it got somewhat "cool" last september, as cool as it can be in september in southeast texas (which is not very cool), i started walking at the dirt track at the local middle school.  my husband went with me the first few times i walked...  i guess to make sure i didn't have a heart attack and die all alone on a dirt track.  i'm not in very good shape; his concerns were probably valid.  after we both felt safe that i would return in one piece from my "workout", i walked almost every day.  i would change clothes and get back in the truck within five or ten minutes of getting home from work because i knew if i stalled any longer than that, i would skip the walking and end up in bed before 7:00.  because i love my bed and i feel like it misses me during the day. 

the first week or so, i walked roughly a mile each time and whenever i thought i would fall over from exhaustion (and from being completely out of shape), i would make myself do just one more lap.  over september and october, i slowly increased the laps and eventually could walk three to four miles.  every single time, the first mile was the hardest.  by the second mile, my shin splints and muscle cramps would pretty much work themselves out and by the last few laps, i felt great.  i mean, really great.  with my earbuds playing all my favorite music and a cool(ish) breeze blowing on my face, i felt like i could walk another ten miles if only i had the time. 

then it started getting dark earlier and the track at the middle school has no lights and it's kind of isolated and i got a little nervous walking in the near dark, so i tried different tracks on my way home from work but never really found anywhere else that i liked to walk.  i thought about joining a gym, but finally admitted to myself that i'm way too self-conscious to do any kind of exercise in front of other people, even people i don't know. 

so, new years rolled around and i knew i wanted to start doing some kind of exercise again.  for a few weeks, i debated in my head....  gym (with strangers and their germs and their eyes looking at me and their brains thinking "wow, she really walks slow!") vs. home treadmill (in the privacy of my home, in front of my tv, where i could hop on at any time and no one would see except for the dog and she and i have a close relationship...  we keep each other's secrets).  i carefully weighed the pros and cons of each and then flipped a coin.  after diligent research, i spent my vacation check on a treadmill.  with all the bells and whistles and the iFit module so that I can view the Seine as i walk.  and of course, keep track of my progress and download workouts and really just to view the Seine as i walk.  i feel pretty sure i can walk longer if i'm looking at something pretty. 

it took a month for the thing to come in, almost long enough for me to lose my new years' resolvedness.  and it's huge!  we had to move every piece of furniture in one of the spare bedrooms to make room for it and it looks a little space alienish in here.  but it's going to help me shape up, so i've willingly sacrificed my perfectly balanced room for a hopefully better balanced body.  so far, i've logged 5 miles over 3 days.  apparently, the last three months have been hard on my body!  my legs hurt and my knee hurts and i have absolutely no stamina.  jillian michaels keeps yelling at me and telling me not to stop but since i'm barely moving anyway, i don't think she notices when i ignore her.  i'm in really bad shape!  but i'm going to work on that.  i feel positive about my space alien in the blue bedroom.   i know it will take dedication and determination and those are not words i would use to describe myself, but i've made up my mind.  and that's usually half the battle.  wish me luck!